ALICE KIM, LCSW

During our recent Naked and Unashamed Marriage Conference, my husband and I were sharing about living forgiven and forgiving. As the group we were speaking to wrestled with what forgiveness entailed, I was yet again reminded of how the practice is both familiar and foreign. We know intellectually that forgiveness is a necessity to thriving, maturing, intimate relationships. We ask for it, wait for it, desire it, and even demand it, but as C.S. Lewis points out, “We all agre

My torso leaned over the kitchen island. My hands clasped together while reaching for my daughter. I was ready. Whatever the confession, I was ready to welcome her with grace. But she shook her head. “I don’t want to. … It’s too hard, mom.” She looked up, made contact then looked back down. I saw her struggle. The thought crossed my mind; I could end all this – the agony of vulnerability. The pain of having to be honest of our failures in front of another, the terror

Some things are always in season. I was at the mall for some Christmas shopping. I walked by one window display with a mannequin dressed in the latest fashion – stirrups. I grinned as I thought back to my middle school days and my first pair. Fashion trends come and go. Not so with forgiveness. It’s in constant demand. The DNA of relationships naturally drives the need. All relationships are fraught with tension, conflict, and failures, some more in frequency than othe